Approved!

Among the chaos of the holidays, I'm trying to keep several things in perspective:

1. The holidays are meant to be spent with those you love and not focused completely on those you long for. However, a dear friend reminded me that our holidays will always include "the presence of absence." This is especially true for us as our first two precious children are in heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ...but this year, I realize that there's the absence of the child that we're adopting. Without even knowing whether or not he or she is even born yet, something in our holidays will miss them. Without even knowing when he or she will join our family, something is missing. It's amazing to me that 3 months and 1 week ago, I didn't even know we'd have another child...it's taken less than 4 months to realize...something is missing.
2. Recognizing what's missing also helps me to focus on what's not missing. I have a lovely home that's already bursting with Christmas presents and decorations. I have a wonderful husband of nearly 14 years, who more than likely won't be spending next Christmas with us, but instead serving our country. I have a beautiful little girl who is in awe of the holidays and learning more about why we celebrate this time of year. I have the opportunity to visit extended family and friends throughout the season and all of these things mean that "I have a lot!"
3. I'm also realizing the importance of acceptance...our forever child will long to be accepted by our family and friends completely. It's our job to create an environment of awareness and love that makes that as natural as breathing.
4. Finally, there are few greater words than "you're approved"! On the way out the door for a long weekend visiting friends, I received the call that our home study was completed and approved by our agency! I've since received the originals and sent one out to complete yet another step in the process of completing our dossier. However, it's surreal...only 3 months ago I was lamenting about the overwhelming amount of documents and forms I had ahead of me. Now, I can count on one hand those that remain to be completed. We're close...well, we're close to the waiting part.

And for all of these "perspectives," I'm thankful. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

National Adoption Month...

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."

I read this first in a book I'm reading from the library and then again on a friend's Facebook posting this morning. It's surreal. All of my children--Caleb, August, Madison, and our Forever Child--have first been born in my heart, desired for so many years through infertility and then bed rest and then loss and finally miraculously born. However, the difference is that it was so hard to keep the first three growing under it. Our Forever Child has been or will soon be or is already under another woman's heart...growing there, while still growing in my heart.

I pray that all my children, both living and not, both biological and adopted, know that they were first known by our Lord Jesus before they were knit together in mine or another woman's womb. That Jonathan and I desired them, prayed for them, and loved them before they were ever conceived. That we pray we continue to be good parents to them whether preparing for their arrival, training them to live for the Lord, or honoring their memories while they live on in heaven.

As we enter National Adoption Month, I'm thrilled to be nearly completed with our dossier--minus our completed home study, FBI clearance, and psychological evaluations--and that adoption is becoming more and more real to us as we complete each step. However, I step back and realize that we're all adopted in God's family. Thank you Lord for creating adoption and for giving us the opportunity to welcome another child into our homes and born in our hearts. Happy National Adoption Month everyone!