Trusting...easier said than done.

Hello again, friends. I realize that it's been 8 months since I've posted anything about our adoption of our Forever Child from Colombia. My apologies, but truly it's because there hasn't been much to tell, and what there is to share is kind of painful. However, in honor of National Adoption Day tomorrow (http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/) I figured it was time I buck up and give you all an update.

First, our Home Study and I-800A forms were updated in March, which turned out to be a fairly painful process, simply because of the logistics of updating while one of us lived on the other side of the world! However, God was in control and all our forms were updated on time...at least for the next 15 months when I get to do it all over again and this time pay for it :(.

Second, we learned from our adoption agency that Colombia was halting adoption referrals in order to do an internal audit of their processes early in the summer. We were frustrated, but also encouraged...we'd rather have a delay to ensure that the children placed from Colombia are legally adoptable! The delay, however, resulted in a very long summer with referrals just resuming in September.

Third, Jonathan returned safely home to us on September 1 after 357 days away, and life has been crazy ever since...hence, the lack of time to write. But as we were "getting back to normal" we began to look at our 1, 3 and 5 year "plans" (i.e. when Madison will be in school, when/if I'll return to work outside the home, when the new baby will arrive, etc.) All things that are basically at the mercy of the timing of our adoption. 

So we made a phone call to our agency representative earlier this month. The news was not promising. In fact, it was tearful. When we started this process in June 2010, the entire process from paperwork to referral to placement was approximately three years...so we should be packing to travel in early 2013.

Then, however, when our dossier was approved by Colombia in September 2011 we learned that things had slowed down and that our 3 year wait actually started then...so we would be matched and traveling in Fall 2014.

Now, post-internal audit, the wait time is actually looking more like 4 years from approval so we'll be referred and matched in 2015. As you can imagine, a 5 year total wait, was NOT what we had in mind.

We still believe that Colombia is where our forever child will come from, but in our despair I did ask a few questions about potentially changing countries or our home study ages/health/number of kids/etc. Long story short...there are no options for us:

• Ethiopia is a 2 year wait, plus at least a year to redo all the paperwork and expense we've done...so a 3 year wait (i.e. 2015). 
• China is still 6+ years for a single, healthy baby (0-4 years old). 
• We can't move into an older/waiting child group because Colombia and CHI (our agency) won't allow a single, biological child to remain "the baby." Even if we moved into sibling groups in Colombia, both younger than Madison and healthy, it's a projected 4 year wait. 

The biggest disappointment has been in learning about the decline in the number of referrals/placements through CHI: 

• 54 children placed in 2009
• 38 in 2010 (the year we started)
• 29 in 2011
• and sadly 6 (SIX) in 2012. 

It's heartbreaking...we are still like number 30 on the list of families waiting or something like that.

So, we wait...and pray...and hope that the audit revealed some redundancies, or unfairness in matching Colombian-Americans first within mere months while we continue to wait years. I completely understand the cultural benefits to a child being adopted by a person with Colombian heritage, but to do it so quickly at the exclusion of everyone else is very hard to watch. We continue to hope that the slow decline in the process and the number of referrals will be noted in the audit and that whatever they found causing it will be remedied and thus, move our timeline back up. 

We know, however, that Colombia is not in charge of when we get our baby. We know that my efficiency in paperwork will not determine when we get our baby. We know that the American red-tape bureaucracy will not hinder when we get our baby. Our Lord God knows when is EXACTLY the right moment and the right child for our family. We trust Him in that, but it's a whole lot easier to type it or to say it then to implement that trust and peace in His plan. We are praying that He continues to use this time to work in us the faith we need to see His plan for our family come to fruition. 

So, I'm sorry if you hoped this post was going to bring good news, but that's our reality, and I appreciate you sharing this journey with us and lifting us up in prayer.