WHY?!

I tried to title this post and came up with about 100 things...none of which capture the complete essence of where we are with our Colombian adoption. I am simply not emotionally capable of going into the details right now, but suffice to say that my phone conversation with our agency today was not good.

Heartbreaking is more likely. I've talked with Jonathan and we are both committed to praying about our future and our family. We are struggling to see WHERE GOD IS in this whole situation. Jon said it best to say "It seems like a CLOSED door, but the CLOSED door doesn't make ANY sense."

I feel like I've been transported back to those hospital rooms years ago where someone told me my babies had died. This feels similar. The baby we prayed for, we loved and longed for, and felt complete peace about coming from Colombia seems to have been ripped from our arms.

So what can you do? Pray, pray, pray. We have SO many decisions to make with little to no information. We have a limited time frame to make those decisions. And, for the love of all things holy, we have to figure out how and what and when to tell Madison about "her little brother or sister from Cumumbalie." Dear God, how am I going to do that?!